Fields of Flowers

So, those who know us probably know about all the crazy things that Randy convinces me to try - rock climbing, skiing (bad idea), hiking (in the Grand Canyon no less), and mountain biking.  Now we have embarked on the challenging world of running.  Yes, you read that right.....me.....running. We started off in the gym, on the treadmill for the first few weeks.  It was hard enough dragging my out-of-shape self there in the first place, because isn't it inevitable that you show up, self conscious in your gym clothes, and you're surrounded by thin, fit, bouncy little things in their matching sports bra tops and skin tight shorts, turning all the guys heads as they workout on the eliptical machine?  It truly is enough to make you want to turn right around and flee for the safety of your couch, who never judges how wide your hips seem to have gotten overnight.  But, Randy went - so, not to be outdone, I went - and struggled at first just to stay on the stupid treadmill and not trip, flying off the back and hitting the girl on the eliptical machine.  I eventually got the hang of it and was actually feeling decent about my accomplishment when Randy suggested we make a goal of training for a half marathon in November.  I agreed (still feeling pretty confident about my treadmill skills) and so that lead to us beginning to run outside.  Now, those of you who have ever tried to run any distance outside know that the first time you go from the gym to the road is an incredible difference.  There are probably a lot of people who had no trouble with this adjustment, but I, on the other hand, began hating the whole experience from the first step on the pavement.  I never realized how hard running outside would be.  On the treadmill you have a nice even flat surface that moves on it's own power and propels you along, feeling quite good about your speed.  With the road, however, you have to push yourself forward, and the terrain is anything but perfectly flat.  I spent that first run promising myself that if I ever made it back to the apartment, I would NEVER run again.  Randy was so sweet and ran at my pace the whole way, talking to me as if he were standing still with such easy breathing and here I was sweating and huffing and puffing, with my face flaming red.  I did, though, decide to give it one more try a few days later and ran 5 miles by myself.  Now...I love it.  I can't explain the change, but I think when I lightened up on myself and didn't try to run at someone else's pace, just enjoying it for myself and the experience of finishing my goal for the day, it made me really feel good about myself.  We've been at it now for about 8 weeks and I still have days when I think to myself I've got to be nuts to actually choose to do this when I clearly still get out of breath, I now have blisters and callouses on my feet, and I'm sure I go slower than most average people who run.  But, you know, when I plug in my iPod (I love Selah - incredible worship songs) and head out on my own, it really is a moment when life just slows down, the stress and noise and craziness of the world is put on hold and I honestly feel closer to God.  Just the other day, I was running along this back road we travel that borders several fields and a big horse ranch.  It's rained quite a bit lately and the fields are totally covered in bright yellow and purple flowers - absolutely gorgeous.  I was running along, listening to my music and just thought about how if it hadn't been for all the stormy afternoons, those flowers wouldn't be blooming and so beautiful.  I know I personally have been having some dark, stormy days when stress seems heavy on my shoulders, but on that day it seemed that God was gently reminding me that without the rain, there wouldn't be growth.  However, just a word to the wise for anyone thinking of taking up this sport, soak in the scenery because it is spectacular but always keep one eye on the road.  I was admiring those flowers so intensely and so enjoying my run, that I failed to notice the rocks in the road (this road is dirt and does become rather rocky in this area).  Before I knew it, I was taking a superman dive right to the ground.  Move over Micheal Phelps...you may be the superman of the water, but I had you beat that day in the dirt.  I had so much momentum that I slid a good foot or two and peeled away some of the skin on my right forearm and right hip.  After I picked myself up and picked the rocks out of my arm, I headed back down the road for my trip home.  Then, the most incredible thing.  I came around the corner and in no exaggeration, there were 50 elk in one of the fields enjoying a tasty wildflower snack!  50!  I counted them!  I just had to stop and walk slowly going past them I was so awestruck - not to mention I was a little intimidated by the sight of them and had no intention of running by and causing them to stampede.  I couldn't believe it.  I ran back to the apartment and breathlessly told Randy about my adventure.  My rambling done for now, I'm sure I'll have more running stories, but hopefully no more that involve road rash.  Remember to be thankful for the rain, admire the flowers, but be sure not to forget about the rocks! 

Gone with the Wind

So, today Randy and I headed off from our apartment, car fully loaded with camping gear, for a two day adventure of roughing it in the great outdoors and seeing more of Arizona that we haven't experienced yet.  We drove about two hours north to a place called Page, right near the Utah/Arizona border.  The landscape along the way was awesome, vast and spacious with beautiful towering rock formations.  So, we finally arrive at the campsite feeling very "outdoorsy" and began unloading the car.  Next came the joyful task of putting up the tent.  Wouldn't you know, we picked the day when the wind gusts were around 25 miles per hour.  Randy and I fought with that tent, with it only to blow over repeatedly again and again and again.  We tried holding it down ourselves, then Randy scouted out some big rocks to aid us, but that stupid tent billowed up like a parachute and I practically had to throw myself across it to keep it from blowing away, sailing into the wild blue yonder.  It was so frustrating because the tent site was made up entirely of sand, so none of the stakes would hold.  We were also the only "tent" people in the whole place, surrounded by huge RV's.  So, all these older couples sitting outside their big deluxe "campers" with their nice comfortable beds, refrigerators, and fully equipped bathrooms were getting a big kick out of the youngsters trying to battle the flying tent.  We finally admitted defeat, headed back up to the campground office and asked for our money back.  The woman at the desk was very nice, returned our 16 dollars and pointed out another campground with more suitable staking land just up the road.  But, she warned, there was a big thunderstorm heading our way - hench the hurricane force winds.  (Well, maybe not that bad but when you have a huge piece of lightweight fabric flapping about your head with stakes flying off in every direction, it sure feels life threatening.)  So, my wise and loving husband came back to the car and announced we would be roughing it tonight in the Best Western nearby.  Oh, darn.  Soft bed and a hot shower - I, of course, was so disappointed.  I suppose I'll just have to suffer sitting here in a comfortable chair, surfing the high speed internet that's included in our stay.  So with our camping adventure put on hold, we decided to take a guided tour of Antelope Canyon, a slot canyon just outside of town that is famous with the photographers.  You've probably seen it in a magazine and not realized it.  It is absolutely gorgeous.  It is a narrow canyon carved out of the red petrified sand formations by water from flash floods.  It truly can't be fully described with words.  You should go to Randy's blog, web.mac.com/randyloveless, he'll have some pictures there soon of our trip.  It's really one of those places that you would never have guessed to even exist when you look out from the road, but once you approach it and enter, you almost catch your breath at the awesome natural beauty of it.  I guess out of everything today, I've learned two things (other than not trying to put up a tent in sand while it's windy).  I learned that sometimes the most incredible and beautiful things in life are not always obvious or in plain view.  I also realized that in life our "tent" may be blown and tossed around, frustrating us and making us angry at the circumstances we have to face, but God can see the approaching storm when we can't and He makes provisions for us to keep us safe, even when it's not what we had planned.     

Back in Flagstaff

So, here I am again, catching up on my blogging.  Since the last entry we've moved back to Flagstaff, Arizona and it has been absolutely wonderful.  It was so strange pulling into town and walking into our old apartment to stay a few nights while they furnished our TWO bedroom/TWO bathroom apartment.  (We're movin' on up!)  In the old apartment, the furniture was exactly the same and the bathroom hooks that I had accidentally forgotten last time and chalked up as gone forever were STILL there!!  Everyone at work has made us feel more than welcomed back.  I was a little worried when we were first discussing coming back, afraid that things wouldn't be the same, but it has been so much better than I expected.  We've already had our first 6 night stretch and since being off we've been back out on our mountain bikes.  I had forgotten how tough on the tush mountain biking was!  Randy's very understanding, though, with all the times I have to stop and gasp for my next breath.  This morning we tried a new endeavor....a yoga class.  It was, how should I say, interesting.  For anyone who does yoga on a regular basis, I applaud you.  I ended up in some pretty unusual poses, but the hardest by far for this beginner class was Downward Dog.  I never imagined I would find myself in a class full of people with my head bent toward the floor, blood rushing to my face, and my posterior hiked up in the air for the old guy behind me to deal with.  Not very ladylike I assure you.  It was fun, though, particularly because Randy was gracious enough to try it right along beside me.  Bless his heart, he was really good at it but there were only about 3 other guys there and I don't think any of them were younger than 50.  There was this older guy that had his long grey hair in perfect Willie Nelson style, braided with a bandanna, perched on his personal yoga mat and then there was Randy right behind him with his jersey workout shirt and hardcore rock climber hair.  He's such a good sport but I don't foresee him becoming a yoga nut.  I'm sure we'll both be sore tomorrow but it was a fun, new experience.   

A New Adventure

So, I know it's been awhile since my last blog.  I'm just so bad at keeping up with this every week like Randy does.  We've been staying busy lately.  After my last entry, work became really, really tough and I think the lesson I mentioned before was, and is, still in progress.  I found myself shedding more tears on my way home from work after certain really hard nights than I had in a long long time.   It's always so hard when time after time you go to work only to have really tough nights again and again.  It kind of wears you down physically and emotionally.  Anyway, I've really been praying about it and it has gotten easier.  I've had several good nights lately and feel a little less out of place here.  We've been skiing a few times and had several really fun dance lessons.  We also went indoor ski diving!  Now that was fun!  I didn't know if I'd like it or not, but flying around in that enclosed room with the air rushing under and around you was an experience I've never had before!  We got it all on video so we'll be able to laugh at ourselves again later.  Just yesterday, we tried another new experience - rock wall climbing!  Now, those who know me and Randy can totally imagine Randy strapping on a harness and scaling up that wall like Spiderman with no problem.  I, on the other hand, have always thought that if we were intended on climbing up the sheer side of a wall (or rock face) then God would either have given us sticky suction pads on our hands and feet like the tree frog, or He would not have bothered with creating gravity.  Well, can you believe it?  I actually climbed that 40 foot wall!!  Maybe, just maybe, I'm learning that God didn't give us those suction cups so that we could face the challenge and experience a feeling that we don't normally have day to day.  It was definitely a new sensation to be up 40 feet on the side of a wall clinging to oddly shaped hand holds while trusting the rope fastened to my harness and the man down at the bottom holding that rope, not to let me fall.  But you know, the sense of accomplishment when I reached the very top and looked waaay down at Randy, who was smiling and cheering me on, was awesome.  I never thought I'd ever do something like that.  I'm finding, though, that I say that about a lot of things we've done and I keep surprising myself.  I believe God really is using all these experiences and challenges (the many, many challenges) in the process of molding me and showing me some things about myself.  He's definitely using Randy in that process because I know I probably would never try some of the things we've done if it wasn't for his adventurous spirit.  I get upset with him at times, because I do feel scared and unsure sometimes - well, really most of the time - but he's patient with me and encourages me to live life.  Thank you, God, for Randy and for leaving off the suction cups. 

A Lesson Learned

Well, Randy and I have been here in Colorado for almost two weeks now and it has been a wild learning experience so far. Not so much in the terms of exciting new experiences but on a more personal level, I guess. For those of you who know me, know that I am a worry wart. Randy says sometimes I create things to worry about, but this past week I had no need to be creative. I haven't shared with too many people my "concerns" (I like that term better than worries) because I know Randy and I are supposed to be living a "carefree, pack-up-your-life, throw caution to the wind, and travel the beautiful country with just the two of us and our cat" kind of life. As they like to say here in CO, "No worries", right? Unfortunately, my anxiety has been kicking in double time lately because, not only is it stressful leaving all that is familiar to you, but just when we become comfortable with a place and it's people, earning respect and trust at work and beginning to "feel at home"- it's time to pack it all back up and start over in a new place. Don't get me wrong - I really do love what we're doing because we are able to see the country, places I probably would have never had the opportunity to see otherwise, and the people that we meet are so awesome and diverse. So, on top of the normal stress and sadness I feel everytime we leave somewhere and start a new assignment, we found out just before we left Florida to come here that there would be an exam we were required to take at the hospital during orientation. This was no ordinary exam, though. If we didn't pass, we couldn't work......here or anywhere in CO! So, in essence, if one of us didn't pass this exam we would have to repack everything and move, trying to find any last minute assignment we could. The weight of this test has been hanging around my neck and I've had a range of emotions from terror of the "what ifs" to dissolving in tears because I felt overwhelmed by it all. In short, last week I was one anxious cookie. I would find myself trying to pray about it only to immediately start fretting again. I was so frustrated because I felt depressed and unhappy with everything. God really does have a way of reaching out to us in a way that's subtle yet powerful enough to get through our self-absorbed fog we create. Last Friday night when my black cloud was hanging particularly heavy over my head, I finished reading Ephesians and was just skimming over the introduction in my Bible for Philippians. It was one of those times when you read something and it feels as if it was placed there just for you. The introduction basically explained that there is a difference between joy and happiness. One phrase read, "Everyone wants to be happy; we make chasing this elusive ideal a lifelong pursuit: spending money, collecting things, and searching for new experiences. But if happiness depends on our circumstances, what happens when the toys rust, loved ones die, health deteriorates, money is stolen and the party's over? Often happiness flees and despair sets in." Then it went on to say that in contrast to happiness is joy, "the quiet, confident assurance of God's love and work in our lives - that He will be there no matter what!" It hit me like a ton of bricks that for so long I've been praying for peace of mind and happiness of heart, but all the while I've been depending on my circumstances and experiences to produce that peace and happiness - and we all know that circumstances in our lives are ever changing and undependable. It took hitting a low point for me to realize how much God has been working in my life and the only true joy I'll ever know is trusting His promises. Paul had joy in Christ even when he was imprisoned and at his lowest by the world's standards - that is the joy I long for. I'm so tired of being tossed around emotionally by all that is happening in my life and want to cling to the knowledge that Christ is with me through all things and even though He may not lead me around the fires, He promises to go through them with me and mold me in the process.
Just to let everyone know, we took the test this past Monday and it was really intense! I was the last to finish and struggled through the whole thing, but we both did pass. You know, normally in a stressful situation like that I have to fight the urge to break down in tears, but I felt totally at peace that day. It was really amazing. I've always loved to read Philippians 4:4-7, but it wasn't until recently that I truly understood it with my heart. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Hitting the Slopes Again - Literally

Okay, so I know it's been awhile since my first, and last, blog. Alot has happened since then. We flew to SC for Thanksgiving (had an awesome time seeing everyone!) and then after returning to Arizona, we finished out our assignment two weeks later. It was really hard leaving Flagstaff since it had been our home for seven months but we knew if we stayed we would never want to leave and there are more adventures out there calling our names. Now we are in Englewood, Colorado - a southern portion of Denver. We haven't started work yet and I have to admit I'm REALLY nervous about it. This is the first assignment where we have to take a test on our first orientation day and IF you pass, THEN you can work in this state. Alot is riding on this exam and I've had butterflies ever since we arrived here! During this week of waiting, though, Randy and I decided to take our minds off of the coming work worries and spend a day on the slopes. We headed out to Keystone Ski Resort, me praying all the way that I would at least remember how to get my skis on, let alone remembering how to get down the mountain safely once my skis were attached to my feet. When we arrived it was a blazing 2 degrees, but beautiful with the sun shining on the snow covered trees and buildings. We made our way to the ski lift and up the mountain with no problems. The sights going up the side of the mountain in the gondola were breathtaking - but that could have also been my breathlessness from being nervous - who knows. Anyway, Randy graciously went down a green slope with me for the first run of the day. (For those of you who don't know - "green" slopes are easy, "blue" slopes are more difficult, and "black" slopes are the "are you stupid?" slopes - or in my case many times when we skied before, they were the "Randy I can't believe you talked me into this" slopes.) I did better than I feared I would, but still spent most of the day getting used to the whole feeling of flying down the mountain on thin waxed boards, which are securely fastened to my boots - rapidly diminishing my chances of escaping without injury. I did fall once, my left ski deciding it wanted to stop and my right ski continuing bravely down the slope leaving me in a very awkward split position for a moment before I landed squarely on my stomach and slid to a stop. Randy, of course, laughed at me. Despite my almost constant fear of bodily harm, I really did have fun. The last slope we tackled was a blue and I was actually getting the hang of it again. It became cloudy during the afternoon and started snowing while we were skiing, which was really beautiful, but extremely cold! So, we headed home for the day - exhausted but happy, and for me, thrilled to still be in one piece.

The City by the Bay

Well, I'm finally blogging after Randy's ceaseless "encouragement". I'm not sure what exactly to write or if anyone will ever read my posts that are floating around in cyberspace but it will, at least, serve as a good place to jot down experiences and adventures. Our latest journey took us over to San Jose, California! I've never been to California before and found it to be quite different than the picture that television had painted on my mind's eye. I fully expected our arrival to be greeted with warm sun, green palm trees lining the street and sandy beaches with in-line skaters whizzing by and flashing their "way too white to be natural" smiles and tanned skin. There were palm trees. It wasn't what I had imagined but the area, especially San Francisco, was beautiful! The Golden Gate Bridge was amazing and did you know that there are painters that continuously repaint the bridge? They start on one side, paint all the way down to the other side only to turn right back around and start over?! Talk about a monotonous job!! We took a tour cruise around the bay, sailed under the GGB, back around Alcatraz and then back to the Fisherman's Wharf. After the cruise, we went out to the docks where the sea lions gather and watched them play and sunbath - they're so funny!! Arr Arr Arr! Well, we landed from our return flight yesterday and we're headed back to work tomorrow night. I don't mind it, though, because when we get off of work Wednesday morning we're flying back to SC to see everyone!! I'm so excited!!! Well, ta ta for now!